We waited a year to get pregnant I waited days to be given a scan I waited for the bleeding to stop For two weeks, I waited to be told that it was all over Now I wait to feel normal, to feel better I wait for the sadness to go I wait for the guilt to end I wait for the opportunity to try again and wait and wait and wait
It's been a whole month now since the beginning. I didn't feel too bad, I feel like I've been getting better over these past few days. Yesterday, I overheard a conversation about finding out the gender. They obviously weren't doing it to hurt me, I wasn't in the conversation and I had my back to it but I could hear it. It was hard to hear knowing no one would ask me that. I'm supposed to be 12 weeks on Friday. I should be getting excited about sharing the news but instead I'm trying to hold back tears while overhearing conversations. Someone asked me how I was doing today. All I could say was "up and down". I wanted to say more but I could stop myself from filling up. I just kept blinking until the tears went away and hoped she didn't notice. Obviously she was asking to be polite and to be kind which is lovely. But I just hate being asked. I just want to tell everyone I feel like absolute shit. But that's not really socially acceptable.
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