Due date

 September is the month I should have had the baby.

I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant which is lovely and I'm grateful and I'm enjoying every minute and wiggle.

But it doesn't change the fact that I'm supposed to have a different baby this month. 4 pregnancies were announced around the time I miscarried. 3 of those babies have been born now. Just waiting for number 4. Luckily, no one has used the names I have in mind yet. That's a huge fear of mine. 3 other babies are due around my current due date. What if the names are taken? Names I should be using this month. I feel like I can't say the names out loud either in case it jinxs the whole pregnancy. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Waiting

 We waited a year to get pregnant  I waited days to be given a scan I waited for the bleeding to stop  For two weeks, I waited to be told that it was all over Now I wait to feel normal, to feel better I wait for the sadness to go I wait for the guilt to end I wait for the opportunity to try again and wait and wait and wait 
Read more

This is hard

It felt like my period was about to start. The cramping. The general rubbish feeling. I'd taken a cheap pregnancy test that morning and it was negative. I wasn't due on for another 4 days. But this month felt different. I couldn't quite shake the feeling that maybe it had finally happened. I started to read through forums to find success stories of people who felt this way and found out they were pregnant. At around 6pm, the need to pee on yet another stick was so strong and I decided to try a more expensive, sensitive one even though it was the evening and still so early. I just knew I should I do it though.  So, on the 9th January, I peed on a stick. I'd lost count of how many times I'd done this over the past year. It was always the same result. 1 line. Not pregnant. Except this time, there was a faint line maybe. It wasn't obvious but it was something. I showed Dee who wasn't convinced but I knew. On the Monday, it was a more obvious line. Still faint bu
Read more

Up and down

 It's a constant fluctuation of feeling okay and feeling shit. Yesterday, I felt okay. Motivated. Did lots of cleaning and felt okay. Today, I can't do anything. I just want to be pregnant. 
Read more